territorial PSings

In the first semester of my second year in college, I did a certain course called Principles of Management.

Indeed, no other course has made me so ponder so much about life as this course did. It raised questions like “Why are we here?”,”Where did we come from?”,”Where do we go when we die?”. Of course, not to mention the obvious questions like, “Why the **&^%  &%$& does a math-comp sci student have to study the principles of management in college.”

studying POM

At that crucial juncture in my life, I thought, nothing could possibly be more pointless than this.

But then, the best private engineering college in India has a way of taking you by the scruff of your neck and thrusting you, face first, into a jacuzzi of belief-changing liquid, that … well, changes your beliefs about things.

And that is exactly what PS-1 did to me.

metaphorical passage of time. You can click here if you want. But do return.

Textiles and Machinery Company Limited, also known as Texmaco Ltd., is where I am to spend the next couple of months of my life, working, for my PS-1 and thus fulfilling my duties as an obedient BITSian.

As the name suggests, Texmaco was initially conceived to be a harmonious amalgamation of textiles and machinery. But what it looks like now, it’s as if Ms Textiles pulled a Rachel Greene and ran off from the wedding alter, leaving Mr Machinery all alone. So what we have here is a huge, seemingly endless factory with humongous machines working all around. Smoke bellowing from huge electric arc furnaces. Enormous electromagnetic cranes lifting piles of iron.

And three computer science students, precariously balanced on the fine line separating sophomore from junior, having no clue what to do.

territorial PSings. I attribute the title of this post to the Nirvana classic. After all, with programs such as this in college, what other than attaining Nirvana can we aim for? More on that later.

So. Good thing is, I’m in my own city, in Calcutta and the factory isn’t a bad place. The work going on around is mighty impressive. People are nice. Have a good friend as work colleague.The co-instructor is a senior and a good friend too. There’s free food on offer (In fact, that was the one definitive directive we were given. Whatever you do, you must have lunch here.) It’s just the pointlessness of the whole thing that baffles me.

But I’m happy. I’ve been getting news from my other friends, and many of them have a lot more to crib about. There’s someone in Bhadrawati who lacks the amenities to flush his own crap down the toilet. There are a couple in Hyd who are working with ear canal instruments. There is someone in Mumbai who is (or rather was) sitting in the same place from 9 am to 5 pm and getting breakfast and lunch some 20 times over 😛 There’s yet another innocent soul who is stuck in Chennai, and is completely at sea when it comes to telling the rickshaw driver where to go to. And not to forget, the ones who are completely absconding, possibly in and around regions of  Maoist insurgencies.

Here’s a few-waitforit-memes to help you understand my point better. Did I say ‘poin’t? Oh. Well there’s one at least.

That’s about it for now. Signing off on this pointless note. And giving you this link to hasten the oncoming of winter. Cheerio!

Pirates of the Caribbean IV – On Stranger Tides : a review

First things, first : the fourth installment of the epic Pirates of the Caribbean saga, was never meant to be one. The original story concluded, fair and square with At World’s End, in 2007; but for Johnny Depp, the titular Captain Jack Sparrow, who wanted one last hurrah before it all ended.

And to be honest, the saga could have done without this. For one, Pirates was at its best where it ended : as a trilogy. What Rob Marshall has done is add a piece of camphor to the butt of a glowing cigarette, hoping that it will light up. Instead, it has turned out to be wet patch.

So with this movie, we find our beloved Jack Sparrow in the middle of London, searching for an imposter who has been impersonating him. A lot of swashbuckling heroics follow. He saves his erstwhile first mate Joshamee Gibbs from being hanged. While escaping he is captured by King George II ‘s men. The king has a conversation with him wherein he is asked to guide an expedition to the Fountain of Youth, headed by his former arch-rival Captain Hector Barbossa. He comes to know that the Spanish have already set sail in pursuit of the Fountain. Sparrow jeopardizes the conversation and escapes, only to meet his father Captain Teague who warns him about the Fountain’s tests. Here, after a brief sword fight, the imposter is revealed and it turns out to be Sparrow’s former lover, Angelica (Penélope Cruz), the daughter of the ruthless pirate Blackbeard. Following Angelica’s ploy, Jack finds himself aboard Blackbeard’s ship, the Queen Anne’s Revenge, and after a failed attempt to mutiny, Jack is forced into Blackbeard’s crew. And as it turns out, Blackbeard too, is headed for the Fountain. While en route, Angelica tells Jack how, in order to be effective, the Fountain’s water must be drunk from chalices belonging to one Juan de León, one of which one must contain a tear drop of a mermaid. Legend had it, that the person who drinks from the chalice with the mermaid tear would absorb  the remaining years of the person drinking from the other chalice.

Meanwhile, Gibbs, who had had Jack’s map showing the path to the Fountain is taken captive by the king’s men. As a desperate last resort to save himself, he memorises the map before burning it in front of them. He is thus asked to guide them, and a race ensues.

commendable chemistry between Depp and Cruz throughout.

What happens thereafter is nothing more than routine drama. Sparrow gets into brawls. A lot of sparks fly. Mermaids come in.

Oh, wait, I must elaborate on this.

Mermaids. Beautiful half human-female-form, half fish-form beings. Their depiction was throughly brilliant. Their attack on Blackbeard’s men at Whitecap Bay was portrayed very well indeed, and it was possibly one of the few good heart-in-your-mouth scenes in the movie. The captured mermaid and later, her chemistry with the captive missionary, Phillip Swift formed an essential part in whatever little story there was.

All in all, not the kind of movie one would expect, to follow up on such a saga as Pirates. It certainly does not take your mind out for a ride, but then again, none of the Pirates ever did that. The question is, does it do what was expected of it? Was it the visual treat that PoTC has been synonymous with? Was it the surreal extravaganza that Gore Verbisnky had started out with, in The Curse of the Black Pearl?

Clearly, no. It only does, but half live up to the expectations that an ardent Pirates fan would harbour. Which is what happens when you do something that Marshall so incongruously did. Obliterate two protagonists entirely (did anybody else miss Will Turner and Elizabeth Swann?), take an unrelated and an underrated story, and try to chip it into a chronicle as grand as Pirates, and call it the Grand Finale.

So should you watch the movie? If A, you are a Pirates fan, then you would watch anyways. If B, you are not, and are hesitant on watching it because you haven’t seen the earlier ones, then do. Because the story is almost completely unrelated to the first three movies. If C, you are just looking for a good movie to watch, I would half suggest this one. Not fully.

And if you do choose to watch, do not miss Jack Sparrow’s dialogues and retorts. They are as witty, as snide, and as epic as ever. Also, do not miss the post-credits scenes. That is one and the only scene that actually makes you think.

For what it was, Pirates of the Caribbean IV : On Stranger Tides was only a swan’s song. It was a graceful swan while it lived. But it sure died a very sad death.

on home, and why it is so.

A week ago, I was in Pilani.

Pilani. We study here.

Yes, that same stretch of deserted wasteland, that God created one fine morning when He woke up to find lice in His hair.

Aside : No offense dude, but it shows.

Actually no. To be honest, it isn’t that bad.

But. Just before the semester ends, when you have all sorts of tests, paper distributions, academic heartbreaks, that work in unison to make you feel like a Marie biscuit dipped in a cup of tea for half an hour, it does get miserable. Very miserable. And then, the prospect of going home shines in the distance like a KFC bucket that is just out of reach.

But then, even semesters end. And a time comes for us to pack our stuff, and bid teary-eyed farewells to our fellow engineering mates (turning purple), and to our much detested abode in the sands.

And then we reach home.

Now. If we actually do a home versus BITS face-off here, there’s no doubt that it will be a a very closely contested battle. BITS has its strengths. DC++. ANC. Wingies. Clubs. Departments. Fests. All of these tilt the scales heavily in BITS’ favour.

But right now, being at home, and being pampered to the point of feeling pangs of guilt flowing through my body, home does seem to be the in thing. The rage, as one would say. And without further ado, let me elaborate on why it is so.

1. Broadband.

the sixth freedom. Freedom to browse.

Free internet. When I  first told this to my dad, he raised an eyebrow, and clarified, “Free as in free speech. Not free beer. Remember”.

Exactly what I meant, of course. Browsing the world wide web with absolutely no restrictions. No trying out different proxy servers. No issues with getting alternate IP addresses. No tunneling. Pure unadulterated freedom of browsing. And thanks to Reliance Netconnect Broadband Plus, getting high speeds. That too on the move.

     2. Food.

burp.

After four months of eating daal that is no different from camel piss. Sabzi that raises questions about existentialism. A fake chicken roast once a week, which is probably a bat’s left breast, deep-fried in the worst possible oils. And a  chicken biryani which tastes like a slap on the face of the city of Hyderabad.

After all this. Home is like the best thing that can possibly happen. You go to MacD’s and sink your famished teeth into a juicy MacMaharaja. Or order a Double Cheese Burst at Dominos, and revel in the cheese as it oozes out onto your palate. Or grab that KFC bucket and tear through it without a worry in this world.

Added to all this of course, is my brilliant mother and the battery of delicacies that she conjures every single day.

This is plainly one aspect of home that Pilani can never ever hope to match.

     3. A Western Toilet and a Bath Tub

Now after gorging on all that food, Home ensures that passing them out is a pleasure as well. A western style toilet is one that thing my knees literally crave for when I do the thing in college. Bloody kneebreakers. That’s what those contraptions back in college are. They do not look like they were even meant to be places to do-the-thing in, in the first place, and the only point of them seems to be in reviving the Dark Ages.

And a bath tub. Oh for the person who hasn’t experienced the joy of spending hours with a magazine in the sweet smelling waters within a bath tub. I really don’t care if it sounds gay. It is utter bliss to say the least.

     4. Cars!

this isn’t our’s. But it is the same car. Our’s is cherry red =)

Two things I sorely miss in Pilani are the two thoroughbreds that we have in our stable. A Toyota Qualis and a Hyundai i20. The car-fanatic that I am, I can never really get enough of them, ever. The sheer finesse of sinking into the seats, turning on the volume and putting your feet down on the gas, is akin to Bilbo Baggins blowing out a smoke ring. No less.

     5. Finally. Calcutta.

The best city in the world. Even better this time around with the election results =)

Oh! Calcutta.

And before I sign off : Home. Here’s a big wet one for you.