the good side to the Obama visit

After a hell lot of Oba-mashing in the previous post, I contemplated for a while and said to myself “Messa thinks every cloud has a silver lining!” and decided to jot down some points, some positive points and indications about Obama’s visit. Most of these points however relate to his address in the Parliament yesterday, views expressed in which, have changed quite a lot from what his takes in Mumbai had been.

*/ a detour –
Apparently this was what Obama was reported to have done after he had read my previous blog post 😛

this post is to tell him “Cheer up, ol’ fella’ … it’s not that bad” 😀   /*

so here goes the points –

• India is the strongest power in Asia

Which puts India on the same footing as China. With one major difference. India is democratic. China is autocratic, bordering at times on dictatorship. Which makes India’s case all the more favourable to this world.

• India’s seat in the UN Security Council as a permanent member

After initially and very craftily avoiding the issue in Mumbai, Obama announced yesterday in the Parliament that, “in the years ahead, I look forward to a reformed U.N Security Council that includes India as a permanent member.” This, needless to say drew a lot of applause from the the MPs.

• end to India’s nuclear isolation

Obama’s confirmation regarding the lifting of ban on high-end technology exports and the removal of ISRO ( Indian Space Research Organisation ) and DRDO ( Defence Research and Development Organization) from the Entity List has been welcomed by scientists all over the country.

• the Pakistan issue

Obama finally brought up the Pakistan issue yesterday, and the stance he took seemed pretty reassuring. To put it in his words “We will continue to insist to Pakistan’s leaders that terrorist safe havens within their borders are unacceptable, and that the terrorists behind the Mumbai attacks be brought to justice”

• the economic perspective

this has certain sub-points :

1. Obama has brought along 300 businessmen and industrialists during his visit.
2. He has asked Indian industrialists to invest in the US. Earlier it had been only foreigners investing in our country. Now it would be a two-way affair.
3. Last but not the least, the offer to sell high-end stuff to India.

This is by far the most significant aspect. The situation is clear. The US is groping about in the dark during the dreary times of a full-on economic recession, with the dollar value plunging every day and share values of big  US firms, plummeting. And by Obama’s implications and actions it is more than clear that Obama is looking towards the pretty-much-economically-stable India to bail out the US from this financial crisis. Obama sees India as a good market to sell stuff to. He recognises India’s stability and knows that Indians investing in the US now would mean a lot to his country.

This is heartwarming, to say the least.

Till then.

*/ There, you can smile now boy 🙂

There, there, a nice toothy smile 😉             /*


PS : I am in love with my elective viz Current Affairs. Messa wants to repeat it next sem, and in the sem after that, and after that … and so on.

400 years : from Sir Thomas Roe to Barack Obama

400 years.

Well, almost 400 years back, a ship had sailed across the choppy waters of the Arabian Sea, the Union Jack waving aloft, and had entered the port of Surat. The affair had been humdrum. Surprisingly so, because the person who had sailed, was destined to leave his mark in the time-stained pages of the Great Indian History.

The year was 1615, and the person was Sir Thomas Roe.

The journey had been long and exhausting. The ship had braved the raging Atlantic Ocean, right down to the Cape of Good Hope. And then had entered the tumultous Arabian Sea. The alighting at Surat had been followed by a long and gruelling journey through the hot wastelands of the North West. When, after weeks of travelling Sir Thomas Roe had finally reached the gates of Agra, his face did not betray his weariness, nor did he lose focus of the humoungous resposnsibility he was bearing upon his shoulders.

For Sir Thomas was no ordinary person. He was the emissary from the court of His Majesty James I, the then King of England, himself. And his instructions had been very clear: Arrange for a commercial treaty which would give the English East India Company exclusive rights to reside and build factories in Surat and other areas. In return, the Company would provide the Emperor of the land with goods and rarities from the European market.

And he was the man chosen for the job.

The “Emperor of the land”, or of what was then the “known India”, was none other than Nur-ud-din Salim Jahangir, third of the great Moguls, direct descendant of the illustrious Akbar, and the father of Shah Jahan. And it wasn’t long before the happy-go-lucky Jahangir was smitten by the English offer. Sir Thomas, in fact became his drinking buddy in his own Court and the Mogul emperor, was quick to wrap up the deal in a gracious letter of acceptance to James I.

–pause–


Such was the story of the first commercial contact that India made with the Western World.

November 2010. 395 years later.

The basics remain the same. As had happened 395 years back, it is another Westerner approaching India. With yet another commercial idea in his mind. The only difference : this is no Sir Thomas Roe. Instead it is the President of the United States, who goes by the name Barack Hussein Obama. And along with him, is the First Lady Michelle, and their kids whoseNamesAren’tReallyOfMuchConsequence.

Remember the single ship entourage that had come along with Sir Thomas Roe? In this case it is ..ahem… slightly different : 34 warships, including an aircraft carrier, stationed off the coast of Mumbai. 40 aircraft, including the Air Force One military ‘plane and 6 heavily armoured cars to accompany Him around.

So yes, you guessed it right. That which has changed, is just the magnitude. Magnitude of everything that is of absolutely no tangible consequence to our country. And that is it. At a personal level this entire hullabaloo around Obama’s oh-so-epic visit is somewhere between rotten cheese and half baked cabbages in my priority list. Or maybe lower.

First things first. Why has His Uselessness Mr Barack Obama decided to sanctify our motherland?


The answer my friend is a-blowing in the wind. Obama comes to India, not as a Statesman, but as a mere salesman. Remember those irritating people who wake you up from your mid-day siesta by ringing your door bell and politely asking whether you have tried out the new fairness cream which makes you glow in the dark? Obama comes for a similar reason. The only difference is that, you just cannot ignore his doorbell. So poor old Manmohan Singh, (analogous to Jahangir in the previous example), has to wake up from his mid day slumber and make arrangements and listen to the useless rattling of this person.


Also when He says something akin to “And it is clear that standing in the 21st century, it is but an Indo-US alliance that will save this planet” old Manmohan has to nod his head in sugar-coated agreement and clap. And yes, he has to remember to shake His Worthlessness Mr Obama’s hand at every strategically spaced-out time interval.

Seriously Mr Obama. Whom are you trying to hoodwink?

’nuff with your diplomacies. What’s with getting stuff done? $200m being spent per day to keep His OhMyGoodness alive. 800 rooms in the Taj and Hyatt … beefed up with extra layers of air-tight security to keep His Joblessness safe from the prying sniper rifles of the Al Quaida.

To what avail?

Change. And long rambling eloquent speeches on how India should not misinterpret the outsourcing issue in the US.
More change. And another long rambling eloquent speech on why India needs to buy US goods over Indian ones.
… And more change.And yet another long eloquent speech on how an Indo-US partnership is the next best thing about to happen to this world after Jockey Inners. 


What’s with the compensation for the Bhopal Gas Tragedy victims? What’s with the Sino-Pak threats along our borders? What about the terrorism issues, following in the wake of the 26/11?

Surprisingly, His HollowVivaciousness has no answer. And interestingly, His MasterfulEloquence doesn’t dare utter the P-word in any of His public addresses.

Sigh.

I shall end this now. It’s been dragging along for quite some time. Here’s hoping His PseudoAwesomeness realises that it’s high time He stops beating about the bush. And starts some real work for a change.

It certainly is  necessary.

PS : Goodness, do I sound like a leftist? Well I am not! Anything but that!

Here’s some light humour to wrap up.

just another thing

A snippet from JustAnotherDayInMyLife (read, today).

I had this really really boring chem lab class wherein we were to do one stoopid little titration experiment. Not once, or twice, or thrice … but, SIX whole times. Six is anyways not a particularly good number of times, one does an experiment that involves blowing up through pipettes, and carefully measuring out chemicals having quasi-intellectual-sounding-polysyllabic names (sodium isocyanate et al), at any time of the year … and on the eve of Diwali, it gets plain worse. And to cap it all, it was a strictly individual experiment. 

We had two hours to wrap it all up, and half-way through the class, I had just obtained one set of readings and had just begun the second attempt. Half an hour later, when the two other guys doing the same experiment finished off and got all their six sets of readings signed by the instructor, I realised that I had to buckle up. No, the thought of not finishing the experiment did not bother me, it was the thought of staying back on Diwali eve to finish it, that frustrated me all the more. So I decided to give my luck a try. 

As it is, it hadn’t been of much help to me this entire semester … so maybe, I might just get lucky now, or so I thought.

After I had completed the experiment a second time, I quickly manipulated and made up four other readings out of thin air, and presto! presented them to the instructor.

Now this instructor is … yes, you guessed it right, the no-nonsense kinda usual chemistry person who likes venting out his five years of chemistry studying frustration upon anyone who wishes to risk it. So he eyed me very keenly, before asking me sternly. “Were you not doing the first one some ten minutes back?”

I was expecting this, and so calmly replied, “Sir, yes, but then I got the hang of it and the next five happened pretty quickly.”

He eyed me again. Penetrating kinda gaze. That makes you wonder whether you are really as opaque as you think you are. “A bit too quickly I’d say?”

I turned red. This was it. The make-or-break instance. I gathered up all the niceness I could muster. Difficult when you are standing in front of someone like him. But I tried my best. And then, when I was convinced that I possibly couldn’t be nicer to him, I gave this very very sweet toothy smile, and gulped … before opening my mouth …

“Oh sir, by the way, Happy Diwali!”

And waited. With needless to say, bated breath.

Five angst-ridden seconds later.

The grim grumpy face that had eyed me so sternly for the past few minutes, broke into a smile. That was it. I knew my trick had worked. I had to now just enjoy the aftermath.

“Same to you!” he grinned back. And flashed me a pair of GreatWhites before picking up his pen and gracefully signing my set of readings.

 > > > fastforward > > > 

So as you can see, what a little niceness can do. Or should I say, sugar-coated niceness? Whatever it may be,  it worked like charmed clockwork. And I was on cloud 9.2 when I walked out of the lab.

By your leave, dear reader, the festivities beckon me. Here’s wishing a cheerful, prosperous and happy Diwali to all of you!

Till then people. Love you guys!